September 23, 2008
-
Control Issues
So…this just in:
I’m a control freak.
SURPRISE!!!
Um, oh, you already knew that.
It just comes with the territory of who I am and what I do…I guess…
So here’s the problem–as a control freak, I operate BEST with a tremendous amount of structure. This makes things easier for us control freaks…can I get a what-what?
The more structure in place, the more control there is already within said structure.
But when there is not as much structure, more control must be exercised to “keep things under control”. And sometimes, without structure, there is chaos.And chaos is death.
This is not allowed.
So with the great lack of structure that surrounds most of my life right now, I am finding myself to be all the more “freak”-ish than ever.
Too controlling over everybody.
I mean, my wife almost punched me in the face this morning. And she should have. It probably would have helped.
And I would have deserved it.So I come to you, O Great Electronic Friends of the Interweb.
Have you ever experienced this? If so,
WHAT SHOULD I DO TO OVERCOME THESE TENDENCIES?
…comment away…
Comments (12)
No never!
i wouldn’t say i have an answer – especially since control is my middle name (or at least it ought to have been if my parents could have foreseen the future) – i would say just to remember that having to be in control can be extremely detrimental to you, your family, and your relationship with God.
wisely remember who IS in control i suppose – and just learn to BE.
be still.
[a lesson i am still struggling to learn]
So I don’t think I’m a control freak, but I do know I do better with structure in my life. And not having a job means absolutely no structure. No place to be, nothing to do, no one needs me right now. I am struggling a lot with this. So…I am learning to pray. And I don’t mean just pray…I mean praying like my life depends on it. Praying like those prayers decide everything else in my life. It’s hard – prayer is not my spiritual gift. BUT God is teaching me patience – something I need more of in my life!!! And I am learning not to just pray during prayer, but listen to Him talk back to me during prayer, too. So simple answer, but it’s working for me!
Isn’t grrrrrrrrrrrreat to know that God is Always in control. Though it’s not so easy to always step aside and let Christ take over completely. I find myself stepping in the way all the time. But I think of Paul’s spiritual goal: To “press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus”. He did not get hung up on his mistakes and failures. Instead, he just asked God to forgive him, and then he forgot about those things, because they were now covered by the blood of Jesus. Amen!! Amen!! He kept his eyes on the prize, and he went for it!!! When I trulely think about it…..None of us are in control of anything “Praise God!” because look at the mess we can make of things and the people we can hurt when we think we are….I love seeing all your talents being used for God’s glory and I hate to let you down, but because of your passion for Christ You are going to be challenged daily with your control issues. HA HA Oh and Structure “The Word Of God” Love Grace
@gstclair - i forget ALL the time.
ALL
the
Time.
@klappyanne - well…not so simple of an answer, I suppose…simple to say, but not simple to DO!!!
but thanks…
Three words: Christy’s always right.
Problem solved.
The end.
I like Marsha’s answer Christy’s alway right. Problem solved. The End…. That should be simple enough,,,HeHe
Yes, listen to Marsha. She’s one smart broad.
*The following advice is brought to you by an imperfect person*
Ok, I’ll give you a real answer. I think it’s great that you are “controlling” in some areas of your life. I mean, look at where it’s gotten you professionally! You know what you want, you are confident in your talent, and you go for it. You are controlling your own destiny, in a way, Mr.-Crazy-Networking-Man. You do a great job at keeping things in order and under control in your professional life.
In your personal life, I think the first thing you have to do is accept the fact that things will always be messy. You can’t control it because it’s more than just you – it’s you and a wife and 2 (adorable) children. (Ok, your wife is adorable too.) No matter how much 4 people love each other and want the best for each other, there is always going to be some level of chaos purely because of the complexity of it all. And by the way, chaos is not death. It’s how you deal with the chaos that is life or death. So just love your family, expect chaos, and enjoy the ride. For realsies.
Or you could join a cult. I hear they like structure.
I’m just reading all the comments to get the same advice you need. My husband reminds me that I’m a control freak all the time.
) And my life has been in chaos pretty much since 1999 (maybe sooner).
Unfortunately, I find that I’m a lot like you. I find myself constantly putting forth a lot of energy towards making a conscience effort to try to control my out-of-control tendency to want to be in control. That statement may only make sense to other control freaks. I’m still working on a more feasible solution (it’s a work-in-progress). If I find something that really works besides lots of prayer, confession, and asking for forgiveness, I’ll let you know.