March 9, 2007

• My Twisted Mind

  EDIT ADD:
  For all you dense people out there! The Nathaniel comment about TV was a joke…
  

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  For years I’ve loved Sci-Fi. I’m not sure when it started, but it was early. It could have been when I watched the actual premiere of Star Trek: The Next Generation in 1987 (as a 7-year old) or earlier when I…I…I can’t remember anything before Star Trek: TNG…OH WAIT! Amazing Stories! I watched that in 1985…and I remember a lot of the episodes very clearly. Weird (and totally creepy, too).
  Well, anyways-I totally grew up with it. Sci-Fi was everywhere in my house. Star Trek (pick a version, any version), Star Wars, Krull, Total Recall, The Running Man, Terminator 1 & 2, Dune (never actually watched it), The X-Files, Quantum Leap, Amazing Stories, The Twilight Zone (original and both new versions), The Outer Limits (new version), Labyrinth, The Dark Crytsal (also incredibly creepy), Ewoks: The Battle of Endor, and so on…
  Fast-Forward to the last couple of years, and the DVD’s on my shelf include a lot of the above (including full DVD box-sets of all seasons of X-Files and ST:TNG, Voyager, & DS9), plus Firefly/Serenity, Roswell, Galaxy Quest, Stargate, and I’m sure some others that I can’t think of right now.

  Take the above, mix it up in a pot with the rest of the Fantasy and/or Adventure movies I’ve seen (like Indiana Jones, LOTR, Aladdin). Throw a pinch of Stephen King in there, and a fistful of Seinfled & Saturday Night Live, and you get this email I wrote to my office-mate (along with the rest of my office) yesterday in response to her request for boxes to move with. In fairness, it was the verbiage in her email that brought this all up.

  I seriously laughed out loud for a good twenty minutes after I emailed this.

  But first: Her email to our office:
  

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  I am searching for boxes. Any ideas? If you know of
  anyone that has any they are willing to donate, let me know. I am willing to
  drive whatever distance…
  

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  So I replied with this:
  

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  I have a zillion
  boxes…or I did. I can’t remember. I think I have a lot.

  BUT

  You will have to drive
  a great distance…to find the great Ring of Abathon somewhere in the sands of the
  Desert of the High Horse. Only then, when the cat’s mouth has been removed, and
  the sun has shone on the pedestal at day’s break, will the Ring of Abathon be
  shown to the purest of heart. You must retrieve the ring, at any cost. It is of
  the highest value to all who seek it, and only when it is finally in my
  possession will I be able to unlock the secrets of The Great Parthex.
  

  Then you will get your
  boxes.

  But beware. Many who
  have gone before you have yet to return on their great journey. For the path is
  filled with vermin and vixen who feed on the souls of the
  weak.

  
  

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  I don’t know what happened to bring that all on…and yes, it’s all made up, and yes-it’s freaking ridiculous-but I just couldn’t help it.
  Maybe it’s too much caffiene, or maybe I’m just a weirdo.

  It’s up to you to decide.

  A completely unrelated note: Nathaniel will no longer be allowed to watch TV.
  Ever.

  • 4:37 pm
  • 17 Comments