February 19, 2009
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Parenting is FREEEEEEEAKING Hard, Part II
I know you are all dying to know how our little parenting experiment went yesterday.
And in the LONG run, so am I…
But nonetheless, here’s what we know so far:
(Nathaniel will now be referred to as “N” for the sake of time)
N really liked the idea of being in charge for a day, and as we explained all of the responsibility he would carry for that time, his eyes became bright with excitement. (hmmmm…note to self…)
He woke up early to get himself and Noah dressed, made a lunch for the both of them, and was responsible for “driving” himself to school. Since he couldn’t drive, he walked with mom. He did not enjoy the looong walk to school. This all went fairly smoothly except for the fact that Noah was not too keen on taking direction from N. He never is…they ARE brothers…(if you don’t have a brother close to your age, you probably don’t understand).
Even though things were going well so far, it was after school that the responsibility of being a parent really got to him.
Christy and N walked home…and N immediately got to work doing “parent” chores. He cleaned out the car, did laundry, washed dishes, scrubbed the floors (ahhhh…we are such mean parents!) AND scrubbed the toilets…and more. He also was in charge of making dinner (Christy helped with the fire-type things…you know…cooking) and he had yet to do his homework. I think he also cleaned up the back yard and took out the trash.
I mean, he worked HARD, from 3pm until about 7:30pm. At this point everyone relaxed to watch a little bit of American Idol from the previous night. FINALLY N got a chance to “play”.
During all of these chores he was also responsible for tending to the needs of his brother, Noah. So when N sat down to do his homework, Noah came in to ask him for some water…and if he could have a snack…and so on and so forth.
I THINK N got the point.
Being a mom and dad is hard work. It’s more than just making the decisions or getting to have your way all the time. Being an adult carries a lot of responsibility to it, and is something that is not the job for a seven year-old. Little boys like to play, and have fun…and they don’t need to whine and complain when they don’t get their way. Of course, no one is perfect, and kids are going to be kids…but I think this was a good lesson in “Let the mom be the mom and the kid be the kid”. And please N, please don’t complain and argue when you don’t get your way…
OK
So HERE’S the interesting part:
He didn’t necessarily like all of the work, (or let’s just say he hated it-punishment successful), but we learned that he LOVES structure. He thouroughly enjoyed the fact that Christy gave him a detailed list of the things he needed to accomplish, and could refer to the list and work until they were done. Which is totally weird since that is pretty much exactly the way I am. (Refer to strengthsquestfinderthingy about my top strength being “achiever”). He loved, loved, loved, loved, LOVED the list.
So in order to give him some more solid structure, we are going to set up a weekly calendar for after-school activities including homework, play time, special events, etc…so that he can rely on the calendar and hopefully avoid the feeling a loss of control in his life (which may be the reason for his behavior of late).
So all in all, I think this was a success. Lesson learned.
And it wasn’t just N that learned a lesson…so did we.
It is interesting that the more you learn, the more you know you don’t know anything.
And you can take that one to the BANK.
Peace out.
Comments (9)
I love lists.
And lamp.
I’m glad this worked out . . . it was a good idea and a good teaching tool. My son needs tons of structure, too. He’s an angel when I keep him busy, but if I let him slide, he doesn’t know what to do with himself, and begins to stress out. He’s only 4, but I can see a huge difference in his behavior when I keep him on task.
It is interesting to note that he did say he would consider being the parent twice a week….I may have to take him up on it…
So glad that worked for you. I will still bring the Love and Logic book (that’s just the name of the book, I know both of you have lots of both of those things)
@jacksoncroons - parenting is so weird, isn’t it?
Kudos to you for not being a lame and ignorant parent…there are so many out there already…
Oh man… Thats SO genius. Im writing that one down in my “Awesome way to punish/teach my unborn children” book. As a kid myself I never really got in trouble, mainly because I was too scared of my Mom. Well, not to disappoint her rather. But when I did, OH MAN! it was on. Well, at our house there were only really 3 major rules. Practice the piano 1/2 hour a day no matter what, Not allowed to ride in teenagers cars, EVER. (only made that mistake once), and NEVER EVER EVER slam doors. Well, I guess one time I slammed the door one too many times…And the punishment was quite simple. She took off the door. Problem solved. HAHA…I thought that was pretty smart.
way to go Semsen Parents…love the list! We use Love and Logic at the Preschool, Scool and Day Camp…LOVE IT! I give a book to counselors each summer to read and man it helps. They have books for educators and parents to help kids/teens become responsible adults. We even have a cheat sheat on the back of our ID badges…hey, we need all the help we can get!! lol
We’re so glad you guys have gone first and we can learn from all your adventures! Thanks for sharing all your precious moments! Rock on, super daddy.
Love your creative parenting. I’m sure Nathaniel learned from the experience and it looks like you learned how he responds best to clear structure. I personally think kids thrive on structure as much, probably more so, than adults. I think it makes them feel secure because they know what to expect and have a clear layout of what’s going on. Parenting IS hard, indeed, and I’m glad I have just one at this point. I figure I can mess up just one only so much.