December 4, 2008

  • Parent-Teacher Conferences

    The dreaded parent-teacher conference.

    Why is it so terrifying to walk into a classroom and listen to a teacher talk to you about your kid's successes and failures?  Do I want to know? Do I want to hear it?

    I can't put my finger on it...but for some reason these little meetings aren't fun for me. Maybe it's that I don't really know the teachers all that well...

    But today was crazy. I went to two of these suckers back-to-back with our new schools here in Burbank and listened to the respective teachers rant and rave about my kids. Nathaniel is reading at an "end-of-third-grade" reading level, and scores high in his class in every area. Noah is also doing well in his class...

    So...I guess my kids are amazing.

    I guess my question is, why am I so weirded out by a gathering that has the sole purpose of informing me of the awesomeness of my offspring?

    I don't know.

Comments (8)

  • Because many parents believe that it is a report card of their parenting skills as opposed to their children's achievements and goals.  Many teachers tend to have the attitude that "these parents don't care" so that is why this child is misbehaving or just not scoring high....the older I have gotten, the better I have gotten with attending these conferences.  It's to the point that both my husband and I are older than the teachers holding the conference so we go in with the attitude that they are just too young to really be allowed to judge us....besides they are not any better than we are...but I am glad to hear that your kids are doing great!!

  • It's because you feel guilty because you know you are not a perfect parent. (For the record, I think you and Christy are amazing parents.) You know that as much as you try to raise your kids right, some of how they turn out is by the grace of God alone.

    Miiiiint chocolate chip.

  • I have no idea why you feel that way- I always look forward to those meetings!

  • And Heidi- we take complete credit for these successes, don't take that away!  "your child is a great reader"(even though I rarely read to him)  I know, thank you!  "Your child is so friendly" I know thank you!  "Isn't he handsome?"  He is, thank you! Maybe that's why I like these conferences.....:)

  • I'm not real fond of them either, but I always go and feel awkward . . . why don't they send home hints on proper responses?

  • I teach 7th grade, and let me just tell you that teachers don't jump for joy around conference time either. 

    As a teacher, you never know what you are going to get when parents walk through the door.  The pool of parents represent the pool of Americans- some are awesome and some are strange (when you see the parents you finally understand where the kid gets it!) and some parents are down right obnoxious.  The worst are the ones who think their kid can do no wrong when the school has a rap sheet five feet long on the kid. 

    When you are a teacher and you had bad news, its hard to talk to parents, because you never know how they will react and you have to be all PC.

    Ugh.  Its stressful.

    So be nice to teachers.  We don't get paid much for what we do and all we deal with!

  • LOL @ Christy. You're right, it's all you guys.

    They were so cute the other night when I was watching them. I took them to McDonald's so I would have to do as little as possible (hey, I'm a free babysitter - deal with it) and they were having a blast on the slides. But somehow, they both came down the slide, and Nathaniel had no pants on, and Noah would not let go of his pants. They were getting pretty annoyed with each other, and it took me awhile to get Noah to let go, and Nathaniel had his feelings hurt, so I made Noah go over and apologize. Then for the rest of the evening, Noah says every 10 seconds "I love you Nafaniel!" and Nathaniel says "Noah, I know you love me! You don't have to say it 200 times!"

    I. Love. Your. Kids.

    And I'll try not to say it 200 times.

  • Ditto to Pip. I read (most of) a cool book called "The Courage to Teach," and what I got from it is that schools are breeding grounds for fear. Students fearful of what others will think of them, of how teachers will treat them, of being made to look silly or stupid. Teachers fearful of being "found out" that they aren't as prepared or knowledgable as they should be, fearful of how students will respond to them, fearful of the one slip up that could cost them their job. Parents fearful that their children will cause problems for teachers, fearful they will mix up with the wrong students and make the wrong choices.

    Then a parent/student/teacher conferance comes along, and you put all these secretly fearful people in a room together. The outcome of the meeting generally depends on how each party handles their fear. Some will lash out, others will become emotional, others will play the blame game.

    I know I do my absolute darndest to provide a safe and enriching environment for my students, but it is imposible to be everywhere at once and deal with every situation in the best way all the time. My fear going into those meetings is that the parents will "call my bluff" and uncover the faults in what I do. Or worse, threaten with legal action against me (which has happened!).

    So, as pip said, just remember that teachers are fearful and dreadful of conferances as well. We just get more practice at them, so we can hide that fear a little better.

    (By the way, the book does go on to suggest how we can face our fears, namely applying love to every situation...)

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