November 22, 2008

• Bolt — A Movie Review

  Dear Walt Disney and Co.:

  I understand that Hannah Montana is a
  gift from God to y’all, but please don’t cast her as the voice of a 12
  year-old. She sounds like a 30 year-old that has been smoking for 15
  years…seriously, that girl does NOT sound young, in the least.

  And her voice.

  Just.

  Bugged.

  Normally I ALREADY know I will like a movie by
  the time I go see it. I already know I’m going to love Star Trek when
  it comes out on May 8th, 2009–hands down. I knew I would like Indiana
  Jones and the Crystal Skull of Weird Aliens, even the most of the
  populous thought it was lame. I usually have a pretty good idea of how
  a movie will fair with me before I see it–USUALLY.

  For BOLT,
  I didn’t have any preconceptions going in. It had a clean slate…and I
  was ready to be impressed by a non-Pixar, computer animation, Disney
  movie.

  I was not.

  The movie just…frankly…fell a
  little flat. You already know how I feel about the leading girl
  (Sparkles Montana), and John Travolta (playing Bolt) felt like he was
  asleep through most of the movie…his performance was disappointing
  and hardly what I would expect from one of those “big name” types.  He
  probably should have had a couple of Red Bulls before doing the session
  or something. Ugh, for low energy from a leading man.

  I was also disturbed by the animation. Some scenes (I can recall the
  opening of the movie, as an example) were incredibly detailed and
  magnificent. It felt similar to the amount of detail and computer
  animation finesse that we saw in Cars or Wall-E. HOWEVER,
  some of the shots–especially as the movie progressed–looked
  incomplete. Some of the backgrounds and far-away shots were literally
  sketches…they weren’t very detailed and looked like pencil sketches in color. I was surprised to notice this…
  What happened here, Disney? Did you add in scenes late in the game? Did
  you not have enough animators? Did you run out of time? Can we blame
  even THIS on the economy??
   
  Other animators, please take note. You cannot mix animation styles and/or not finish your movie…it looks off-putting.

  
  
  The up-sides:
  Amidst the annoyances, there were some funny parts. Although the
  writing was not as good as Toy Story or the comedy as good as Nemo,
  there were a couple of scene-stealers. The dude that plays the girl’s
  agent was funny–the hamster in the ball was great–and the
  pigeons…the pigeons were hilarious. They did a really good schtick
  where Bolt ran into 3 pigeons all over the place…3 in New york, 3 in
  California…and there were some others…the New York pigeons were
  great but the CALIFORNIA pigeons were amazingly hilarious!! I laughed
  SO hard when they started doing their thing…it was sooooo
  Hollywood…ahhhhhh I love it…

  I think if I had to give an overall grade, Bolt would earn a C-

  If you don’t have kids, you could probably skip it…but then again, this is coming from a guy that hates Wall-E.

  • 4:00 pm
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