May 28, 2008
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The Chiropractor
I need to tell you about my chiropractor.
I really like my chiropractor. I found him during my first semester as a freshman at APU. He was literally the closest one to APU, and that’s the reason I picked him. However, it turned out he was awesome. You see, he uses this method that not many chiropractors use–The Activator Method. It’s incredibly accurate and far less invasive than the normal bone-crunchers you probably go to on a regular basis.
So if you do the math, I’ve been going to this guy exclusively for 11 years.Yes…even when we lived in Twain Harte we’d still occasionally take a trip down to L.A. and work in an appointment for me.
Uh-huh…I’m Just.
That.
Crazy.
Well…this method of chiropractic entails laying face-down on the table while the doctor adjusts your back with the little metal activator-thingy…and I guess I’ve been sleeping at night a little less lately, so I’ve noticed this tendency to start nodding off during my visits. I mean, I’m face down on the table with my eyes closed for goodness sakes…after about 20 minutes of that, I start getting sleepy!!
Usually I’m able to catch myself dozing and wake up before I say/do anything stupid like not respond to one of his questions or something…But not today.
Today I guess I was dozing off…and he starts talking about this restaurant that is Christy’s favorite–Tulipanos on the corner of Citrus and Gladstone. We used to go there all the time…
Anyways—so he’s saying his wife went there for lunch today and he’s going to be eating leftovers, etc…and I THOUGHT I was doing pretty well…interacting and talking about the restaurant…well…I started talking about how there is a guy that comes in to play guitar sometimes during the nights and weekends.
“Have you ever heard or seen the guitar guy?” I ask.
he mutters something about how he hasn’t…and he’s only been there during lunch so maybe that’s why, etc…blah blah blah…
…and I start accidentally dozing.You know that state of consciousness that is between sleeping and awake? The one where you can be “woken up” in the middle of the night by your friend’s mom and/or grandma and told to get out of your friend’s dad’s office and instead go sleep in your friends room, and then wake up the next morning and not know how you got there? That state where you can still respond to people but not know what you’re saying or doing? Where your dreams are happening, but they’re just an extension of your current reality?
Well…I must have been in this state…because in response to the Doctor saying he hadn’t seen the guitar man, I rattled off something to the likes of this:
“Yeah, he hasn’t been in any of the pictures I’ve seen…”pictures? PICTURES? of WHAT?!? I have no idea…and it was at that moment that I realized I had just said something ridiculous and reeeeeeeeealy tried to recover…
I have no idea exactly what I said next, but I can tell you it wasn’t pretty…it was more just a mess of words strung together trying to dig myself out of the half-asleep hole I had so quickly dug myself into.
Oh boy…
On a totally unrelated note:
I love 30 Rock.
I just saw an episode I had missed before the finale and it was hilarious. Totally deserving of the Best Comedy Emmy.
Comments (11)
Was it the Mozart one? I died laughing with that one! Dr. Spaceman running with the cape, Kenneth with the candle, all the slapping… LOVE it.
That. is so funny- why didn’t you tell me?
I’m sure you’re the not the first one to fall asleep while he’s working on you. Why didn’t you just tell him he was doing such a great job making you comfortable that you totally fell asleep? Dork.
I certainly wouldn’t want to admit it that I was falling asleep, now would I?
I hate it when that happens! I know the feeling. My sisters always falls asleep on the couch late at night when we are at her house. Her daughters will talk to her when she’s in that “almost asleep” state…they will say bizarre things like, “Hey, mom…the monkey is in the fridge so I am going to pass me the baseball bat China and Ecclesiastes.” To which she will murmur some ridiculous something that makes us fall out laughing.
On Sunday I was so tired because I had been at Childrens Hospital with Shawn until 4:30 AM for his sleep study that I swear that’s exactly what I did. I was saying things that I did not even know I was saying. I was like in a surreal dream state. I remembered most of it later and I was thinking I should go around and apologize to people but… whatever that might be even more embarrassing. It sent me out of myself though and I did meet some new folk at the church that normally I would be too shy to reach out to, well that is as long as I did not come across too crazy. Ha!
All that to say I could relate and your story is funny and made me laugh!!!
Interesting Travis would say that about his sister…because if I recall- it totally runs in the family. A certain someone said “shut up” to me while we were all watching Saturday night live at his house–while he was asleep. Ha!
I totally forgot about that, Christy…and you are right!
Oh I love the “activator method.” My chiropractor in Rancho Cucamonga uses that on me and it is totally accurate. It can be slightly painful at the initial contact BUT it is wonderful! And I definitely know what you mean when you are in and out of consciousness. I do that ALL the time!
Glad to know I’m not the only one!!! LOL!
Oh man, gotta try that type of Chiro. I was just thinking today that I needed an adjustment. Your too funny, D! It’s like falling asleep during a pedicure (not that’d you’d know or maybe you do) but it’s a compliment because they are so good they are making you relax!
:::::Now singing Frankie Goes to Hollywood — RELAX:::::::
I LOVE 30 Rock!